Of all the physiological changes that take place in sexual intercourse, breathing is the only one that can be voluntarily controlled. This leads to the obvious conclusion that breathing more slowly will slow your heart rate and make it easier to delay ejaculation. If you learn the simple techniques below, you will last longer and enjoy a more satisfying sexual experience.

During intercourse, here is what you need to do:

1) Take a long, deep inhale, wait a few seconds, and exhale slowly.

2) Maintain slow, rhythmic, controlled breathing when you do so.

3) When you feel you are coming close to orgasm, your breathing will become faster as your excitement mounts. Pay attention and try to concentrate on doing the following:

Concentrate on long, slow breaths. To do this, inhale, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly. As your breathing slows, your body will become more relaxed. Orgasms always feature fast breaths, so it’s obvious that slower breathing helps you last longer in bed. You simply fool your body into thinking that it is not time for the process to be completed.

Another trick to slow your breathing is to not use your mouth to inhale. Instead, breathe slowly through your nose. Nose breathing means slower breaths simply because the nostrils are smaller than your mouth. Concentrate on breathing slowly when you get near orgasm. Keep your mouth closed at this time. Don’t force yout breathing. Keep it slow and rhythmic.

When you want to delay orgasm, do the following:

1) Breathe slowly and deeply through the nose.

2) Inhale deeply, hold, and then slowly exhale. Concentrate on your breathing.

3) If you feel you have to stop and pause to delay ejaculation, keep the slow nose breathing going during the break

Controlling your breathing is vital for better sex. Breathing correctly can not only help you last longer in bed, but it can also enhance the sexual experience. Try synchronizing your breathing with that of your partner. This creates a feeling of deep connection and can lead to incredible orgasms!

When personal Tantra instruction is either inconvenient or too expensive, Al Link and Pala Copeland’s Sexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley’s Ultimate Home Tantra Course are two excellent self-teaching courses. I highly recommend either of these courses for those who can’t find a local Tantra teacher, attend a Tantra workshop, or just want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.

This weekend I was at a bridal shower where I’d been asked to speak about the sexual side of tantra. Of course, the ladies were a lot of fun, and as always, they had some really good questions. I’ll share an answer to one here today.

As I’ve explained in past issues of Tantra Tips, and as I explained at the bridal shower, if your breath and energy (“chi” or “prana”) cannot freely circulate in your body as you make love, the pleasure you can feel is limited. You’re cheating yourself of better sex! Your breath, energy, and mind are all linked, so your capacity for spiritual bliss is also limited (your ability to experience samadhi through complete absorption in the love and/or sensuality of lovemaking, or in anything else for that matter).

So here’s the question: How can you learn begin to relax, deepen the breath, and maintain relaxed awareness while making love if your body is in the habit of tensing up and panting?

And here’s the answer: You don’t. Not at first. Just trying to remember to do all those things while “getting it on” will only make you more stressed and tense, and make you stay in your head and worry self-consciously instead of enjoying yourself, right? No fun. And if you start to get carried away by the moment, your breathing will get away from you again.

So then, the *easy* way to change your limiting sexual habits is to start changing your habits and your awareness when you’re *not* making love, just a little bit each day, and making the whole process relaxing and fun….
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“The single most important key to sex that I’ve yet discovered is conscious rhythmic breathing; the more you breathe the more you feel and the more you come alive. Many of us breathe only enough to survive but not to live fully. Deep breathing is a door to waking up to healing and to more personal freedom.”– Annie Sprinkle, PhD., Tantrica & Ex-Porn Star

Breathing doesn’t seem very sexy but it’s the key to orgasmic pleasure and self-empowerment for women and to lasting longer for men. The benefits of learning new, simple ways of breathing are extraordinary and have direct health benefits, too. Breathing deeply into your belly increases relaxation, decreases tension and stress, helps women focus on pleasure and puts more oxygen into your blood stream. Oxygen is what delivers the ‘O’ in Orgasm. Read more

Research is continually showing that meditation is beneficial to our life and our health. Meditation helps us to take a distance from what is going on in our mind and our life rather than constantly being immersed and controlled by it. It helps us to be more focused and reduces stress. Opening your heart is a simple step you can take towards accepting things as they are and being more open to others and the blessings of life. This is a meditation that can be used each morning to center yourself and to open your awareness in a positive way.

Start by quietly sitting and focusing on your breathing. Relax and allow your breath to come naturally in and out. Begin by focusing your breathing toward the area of the heart. This means that your mental focus as well as your breathing focus is in the area of your heart behind your breast bone. Take ten minutes to sit and focus your heart breathing while you let your mind experience the feelings that arise when you allow your heart to be open and activated by your breath. Read more